Hey my darling readers <3
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to talk about this week but there has been something on my mind that I wanted to discuss….and that’s the fact that I’ve been putting way too much pressure on myself and it’s really getting the best of me.
Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to have a “plan.” I’ve always been a dreamer but what I aspired to most was one day excelling in my career. I imagined myself on a stage performing in front of millions of people or writing a best selling novel. This yearning for success continued throughout junior-high, then high-school, and eventually college.
I was told that I had to go to college in order to reach my goals. This advice came from my family, my counselors, my teachers, etc. While they meant well, college didn’t end up being some magic fix, some key that would unlock all of my dreams.
In fact, it ended up leaving me with 30k in debt and a bit of a broken heart. One year later, I sit here in my studio apartment, jobless and on the search for some “entry-level” job to get me by.
This post isn’t meant to bash college at all. College was an absolutely incredible experience for me. I bettered myself as a person, met friends for life, and I made memories that I will always look back on with fondness.
I think my goal for this post is to question the mindset that comes with society’s idea of becoming “successful”. Working hard is important, aspiring to a dream is incredible. However, I see sadness in my eyes when I look in the mirror, a sadness that my peers seem to mirror as well.
We forget to take care of ourselves, first and foremost. We forget to do the things that make us happy. We are too lost in our obsession with success.
We never get a chance to take a break.
This week, I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would start listening to my body more and be okay with doing what I can right now. I don’t have to be a best-selling novelist by next week. It’s okay to not have all the answers just yet. I will continue telling myself this as much as I can (even when I don’t believe it).
I will do my best to focus on making myself happy for once.
My goals for the rest of this week are:
- Writing more, worrying less.
- Taking a walk daily and appreciating my surroundings as much as possible.
- Saying no when I have to. It’s okay if I can’t handle something that day.
- Eating well.
- Speaking kindly about myself.
I hope the rest of your week is wonderful. Please remember to take care of yourself first. <3