When you think of the term love languages, the first thing that may come to mind is relationships and romance. Maybe you’ve seen quizzes or articles that cover this topic on social media. Personally, I found a really cool post from PureWow on Twitter and it made me want to learn more! After reading the article, I took a quiz to find my love language. Then, I couldn’t help but wonder: what is my self-love language?
According to my quiz results, my love language is acts of service. Basically, this means that I feel most valued when people I love go out of their way to do kind or helpful things for me. An example would be offering to help me finish a project that’s been stressing me out.
I thought, would finding out your language be helpful for self care? In my head, this concept made a lot of sense. After all, you’d be treating yourself in ways that are most meaningful to you. For example, If your love language is words of affirmations, wouldn’t writing down positive notes in your journal be the best form of self care?
Overall, I just like the idea of personalizing your self care and wellness routine.
I’ve never heard about this topic before, so I decided to do some research. I couldn’t find that many articles, but I did see a couple of fantastic blog posts covering self-love languages. My favorites were from Beth at The EveryGirl and Dominee at Self-Love Rainbow. Definitely check out both of their blog posts as they were super informative!
What are the five love languages?
Before delving into self-love languages, let’s chat about where this concept comes from. In 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages. In the book, he discusses five different ways to express love with your partner. They include words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Chapman notes that discovering your love language can help you communicate and better connect with your love! He also adds that everyone expresses and receives love differently, so it’s important to understand your love language.
I had Alejandro take Chapman’s quiz online and we found out that his love language is words of affirmation. He likes to hear loving words and compliments. As his partner, this helps me express my love in a way that’s most meaningful for him.
Moving forward, I can do more little things that align with his love language. It could be something as simple as sending a sweet and heartfelt good morning text!
If you want to find out your personal love language, check out Chapman’s quiz on the official 5 Love Languages website! You really do learn a lot about yourself in 5-10 minutes time! 💛
Discovering Your Self-Love Language
These are some tips to connect your love language with caring for yourself. Read through the various self-love languages and think about which one sounds most like you! Doing so will help you personalize your self care routine! 💕
2. Words of Affirmation
Sometimes, it’s nice to just hear the words, “I love you” or “you did a great job!” If words of affirmation is your love language, you feel happiest when someone expresses their affection in words. Similarly, you should speak lovingly to yourself. At times, we can be our own worst critics. Replacing negative self-talk with kind words is a powerful way to show yourself love.
Celebrate your big and small wins. Give yourself a compliment! Tell yourself that you are proud. 💗
Ultimately, talk to yourself as though you were talking to a loved one. This is especially crucial if your self-love language is words of affirmation!
- Recite daily positive affirmations.
- Stick encouraging notes on your fridge.
- Write yourself a loving letter.
- Keep a gratitude jar.
- Remind yourself of your dreams by making a vision board.
- Be aware of how people in your life speak to you.
- Create an inspirational quotes board on Pinterest!
- Start a bullet journal.
- Talk about your passions with others.
- Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
- Watch a Ted Talk!
- Give yourself a compliment.
- Write a list of things you’ve accomplished this year.
- Post about something you’re proud of on social media.
- Do a 30 days of gratitude challenge!
- Listen to a personal growth podcast.
3. Receiving Gifts
When it comes to this love language, it’s the thought behind the gift that counts. You love the idea that someone bought or made a gift with just you in mind. If receiving gifts is your love language, you truly appreciate when people listen to your interests and passions.
Let’s say that you adore all things music. You’d probably feel emotional if your s/o surprised you with tickets to your favorite artist’s concert. Another thing that would mean the world to you is if they made you a personalized playlist! Overall, small gifts make you feel special because someone you love thought about you.
The truth is, sometimes we tend to forget to treat ourselves.
You may even start to feel guilty about spending money, especially if you’re on a strict budget. But a gift for yourself doesn’t have to be pricey or lavish. It should, on the other hand, be meaningful for you! ✨
- Treat yourself to a small gift from your fave shop.
- Buy a ticket to see a local show (play, movie, concert, etc).
- Invest in your hobbies and passions.
- Decorate your workspace with positive knickknacks.
- Create a scrapbook of memories & mementos.
- Make yourself a self care kit.
- Book a weekend getaway to somewhere cozy.
- Start a DIY project just for fun!
- Create a personalized calming playlist
- Check out deals online for new activities (like a boat tour or cooking classes!)
- Enjoy a yummy midday snack, like a pretzel or yogurt parfait!
- Pick out a bouquet of flowers for your kitchen table.
- Enroll in a class that interests you (like pottery or fiction writing).
Also, if need more inspo for this self-love language, here are 45 Simple Ways to Start Investing in Yourself! 🌼
If physical touch is your love language, a hug from someone you care about can make your whole day. Showing affection through physical touch calms you down and makes you happiest. When it comes to self care, take the steps you need to feel more in tune with your body. Doing so will bring you a sense of calm.
Personally, my favorite way to practice physical self care is bike riding. Going for a bike ride to the park can change my entire mood and rejuvenate me. Also, I’ve been loving yoga and dance!
Try to think of a few go-to relaxing physical self care activities — this will look different for everyone! It could be an at-home spa day or something as simple as taking a walk around your neighborhood after work! ☀️
Self-Love Ideas for Physical Touch:
- Cook yourself a healthy dinner.
- Get some fresh air.
- Light your favorite candle.
- Work on your skincare routine.
- Sign up for a fitness class.
- Enjoy a cup of tea.
- Drink a glass of water.
- Go to sleep earlier for better rest.
- Play with makeup.
- Go to the gym.
- Snuggle up with a blanket and book.
- Pamper yourself by getting a haircut or doing your nails.
- Bake a festive dessert.
- Do a few stretches.
- Stock up on fruits & veggies in your fridge.
- Take a soothing bubble bath.
5. Acts of Service
On to the final self-love language — acts of service! When I took Dr. Chapman’s quiz, I wasn’t too surprised that this was my personal love language. When I’m having a long week, I always notice and appreciate the little things that Alejandro does for me.
It’s nice when he’ll go out of his way to make me feel better. For example, he will do things like run to the store for me to pick up snacks or tidy up the apartment. It’s super sweet! At the end of the day, this love language is all about showing the people in your life you care.
But I’ve also noticed that I tend to practice self care through little acts of service. This could be anything from meal prepping for the next day to organizing my desk.
Showing kindness to yourself can truly make an impact! 💛
- Check off your to-do list.
- Donate to a local charity.
- Declutter and tidy up your place.
- Ask yourself: what do I need most at the moment?
- Meal prep the night before so you have breakfast & lunch ready.
- Do one errand you’ve been avoiding.
- Set a few monthly goals.
- Learn how to set boundaries and say no to things that drain your energy.
- Schedule your doctor’s appointments ahead of time.
- Make time to do the things you love.
- Keep a habit tracker in your journal.
- Help someone else through a random act of kindness.
- Make your bed in the morning.
- Give yourself breaks throughout the workday.
- Pick up your favorite snacks at the store.
- Empty the dishwasher before bed.
Self-Love Language Quiz
Click on the images (quiz & answer sheet) to find out your self-love language! 💓
I hope that you enjoyed this post, everyone! Have a wonderful weekend!
What is your self-love language? Which one of the love languages resonated the most with you?